Losing a Friend

Today the world lost a great writer, friend, father, husband, grandfather and public relations specialist. Tom Hernandez was an incredible human being. From the first time I met him at WriteOn writing group, he was welcoming, funny, kind, and passionate about the written word. He helped so many of us craft our novels and stories and blogs and poems. But I think the most important thing he did for people was believe in them. He BELIEVED you could write something amazing. He BELIEVED you could make it even better. Even when you thought it wasn’t going well, he made you believe in yourself. Please keep his family in your prayers!

When he was diagnosed with brain cancer, I remember crying after he sent us the email about it. It was a different kind than moms but I knew the odds. Somehow, I believed that out of all the people on earth who might have a chance to beat it, Tom was the one. He was just so loved and kind and funny, and he truly believed in the good.

I didn’t keep in touch with him like I wish I would have. I think I let my fear of watching brain cancer consume another person outweighed my courage to get past it. Even as he battled it, he kept the rest of us believing in writing and living life to the fullest, just as he did. We exchanged a few emails here and there for awhile, and he kept on being his genuine, witty self.

In September of 2022, after his diagnosis, Tom reached out to me and said he was going to read “Goodbyes Before You’re Gone,” the book that friends and I published in 2013 about our loved ones journeys with brain cancer. I told him that was a terrible idea, lol. The book doesn’t have happy endings; it was more or less written to help caregivers understand that every persons’s journey is different, and let them know they aren’t alone. But, he insisted it was what he needed to do. He sent me an email a couple weeks later and the subject line read “Just finished your section of the book…” and continued “...I think that's all I can read right now. Just want you to know that I now love and admire you even more for your tremendous courage. I am going through everything your mom did…You are an extraordinary person, daughter, mom, and writer!” Because that’s who Tom was - motivating you and reminding you of who he saw you as, even while going through hell himself.

We aren’t best friends; we didn’t have get togethers. Our interactions were mainly based around writing. But when I think of people who have impacted my life, he’s in the top five on that list. He was a genuine, kind, and giving human being and has changed the lives of so many people with his writing and his friendship. And it’s not fair that someone who has gone above and beyond for others had to battle something like this.

Thank you, Tom, for believing in me. Thank you for believing in all of us. Thank you for the countless hours you have devoted to giving us hope and direction in achieving our dreams. Thank you for listening. Thank you for reading romance novels galore and more rough drafts than I care to admit and so much more.

But most of all, thank you for your friendship. The world’s light is a little dimmer today without you here. The biggest gift you can ever give someone else is the gift of your time and you gave that in spades. Thank you for making us all feel important.