Final Exams
Final exam season is upon us, which inevitably leads to stress and anxiety. My freshman daughter is worried, like most teens, about what her grade will be.
Sometimes, your best is an A+. You nail whatever test or task it is, you were prepared, you get the golden star. Those days are awesome, and anytime they arise, you should take advantage and relish in the sense of joy it brings.
And some days, our best is a B C or a D or, oddly enough, even an F. It’s not that we gave up or bombed on purpose; it’s because we are human. Being human comes with hormones and emotions and situations out of our control. Sometimes we are just in a terrible mood or couldn’t focus to study or our hamster dies.
Those days happen. And it’s ok. It’s ok to be less than the bar you set for yourself sometimes. But on the days where your best is a B or C or D or F, as long as you are doing the best you can in that day, you have not failed. We cannot be perfect at all, let alone all of the time. My older brother taught me that. He once told me, “You do the hard things like you eat a shit sandwich - one bite at a time so it’s manageable, especially when it’s something you don’t like.” And that’s the truth. You do what you have the capacity to do.
And so it is with finals. We talked about how if you took good notes and studied the best that you could, then you did your best. And if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know if it was really your best or if you kind of half-heartedly did it. And sometimes you can take all notes and study for hours and you find out your notes weren’t good enough. That’s not failure. The point of school is an education, in academics but more importantly in life. High school is preparing you for college and a job. So if you figure out your notes weren’t what they should be, you haven’t failed in that test. You have learned something that will help you do your best next time.
Just like group work isn’t to lighten the load in class. It’s to help you prepare for that job where you’re working on a project with someone who doesn’t pull their weight and how, even though it’s unfair, you learn how to reach the end goal without their help.
Life isn’t fair. But adapting is what helps you do your best. Not everyone else’s best - *your* best.
So as your teen studies, or comes home with a grade that’s less than you both hoped, help them understand the difference between perfection and doing your best.
My best the other day was a D+ at best. And my teen saw it. But we picked ourselves up and refocused and did the best we could with what we had and the day ended ok. Life is a series of ups and downs and navigating that path isn’t easy.
We just do our best one day - or one bite - after another.
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