The Need for Excitement...

I’ve never been the type of person who could sit still. Not in life, not in work, not even as a kid. Growing up, I was never fully committed to one sport or one activity. I bounced from dance to softball to ballet - not because I didn’t enjoy them, but because I loved the thrill of learning something new and then moving on to the next adventure. At the same time, I’d teach myself random skills like sewing or wood carving, picking up a dozen offbeat hobbies along the way. I’d stick with them just long enough to get good - and then the boredom would creep in.

For a while, having kids and raising a family filled that restless part of me. Every day brought something new: their activities, their friendships, the friendships we built with those families on their teams, the rhythm of life that changed constantly as they grew. It kept me busy, engaged, and entertained without me even realizing it.

But now… they’re older. They don’t need me in the same way anymore. No more chauffeuring to practices, no more filling afternoons with playdates or projects. And suddenly, there’s a lull. Though I love my job, it feels repetitive, year after year. Even photography and writing - my “fun” outlets - have started to feel like just another box I check. I have four nearly finished manuscripts that I can't find the motivation to edit.

It’s not that I’m unhappy. I love my family, I’m grateful for my life, and I don’t want chaos or drama. But I do find myself missing the spark I used to feel - the reckless, carefree version of me who could make a last-minute decision just to see where it led. The unknown. The excitement of meeting new people. It seems really daunting to try finding all of that at this age.

The truth is, I don’t even know what I’m looking for. I don’t have a bucket list item screaming my name. I just know that right now, life feels… predictable. Too predictable. Every day that isn’t spent having fun feels like a day I let slip by. And while I’ve taken on more responsibility at work - which keeps me busy - it isn’t the same as feeling truly fulfilled.

So here’s my question: what do we do, at this stage of life, to keep things fresh and exciting? How do we find that balance between stability and spontaneity? Between responsibility and recklessness? Is this my mid-life crisis?

I don’t have the answer yet - but maybe that’s the point. Maybe the adventure now is in searching for it, wherever that leads me.