More Than Just Mom: Then and Now

I started blogging more than 15 years ago, and I called that first little corner of the internet More Than Just Mom. At the time, I was knee-deep in diapers and Goldfish crackers, beautifully consumed by life with two little ones. I love being their mom — fiercely, wholly — but somewhere along the way, “Allie” began to disappear. It felt like I wasn’t anything but mom.

For the past 19 years, I’ve tried to find the balance. Honestly? I’m not sure I ever did — or if it was even possible.

Motherhood stretches you in every direction. You become a protector, nurturer, teacher, chef, chauffeur, therapist, cheerleader, and a million other titles that never show up on a resume. Weekends were spent at baseball and volleyball games. Halloween costumes were crafted book reports edited. Doctor’s appointments were juggled between grocery runs and school projects. Life became a constant rotation of to-dos — and still, it was full of joy. (And, let’s be real… a little stress too.)

I chose a slower, less demanding career path so I could be there. We didn’t take extravagant vacations. We didn’t live in a giant house. We didn’t buy the fanciest things. But we had what mattered — and we have always been good with that.

Our lives were filled with moments and not stuff. My life was filled with, most importantly, their moments.

And then… they grow up.

My oldest is in college now. My youngest is a high school junior. They can drive. They have jobs. They make their own meals at all hours of the night (or pick up Chick-fil-A), and they don’t need me for the hundred little things I used to do every day. They buy their own clothes. They pay for their own concert tickets. Of course they have a roof over their heads and groceries and school tuition (even though the college kid pays for a big chunk of his!) from mom and dad, but they’re proud to also be self sufficient in so many ways — and I’m proud of them, too.

But if I’m honest, I’ve found myself in these strange new pockets of time — time that used to be filled with being needed all day ever day. I’m not just mom anymore… but I’m not entirely sure who I am without the constant busyness of motherhood either.

We raise our kids to be independent, capable, and strong — and then they go and do exactly that. It’s a strange mix of success and sadness. (Though I’ll never say no to a family game night or a dinner out when we can all be together.)

So today… I did something sort of crazy. Something I wouldn’t have done before because I would probably have gotten the kids new shoes or something else they needed.

I bought something I’ve always wanted: a Chanel. If you know me, you know my mom taught me to love shopping — the thrill of clearance racks and great deals, always choosing quality over flash. Trips to Michigan City and Gurnee with friends. So no, this isn’t the pink Chanel bag of my dreams. It’s a small, used wallet. It’s vintage. It has a few marks and imperfections. But it’s beautiful. It’s been loved before. And now, it’s getting a second life with someone who will treasure it.

Kind of like me.

I may not have it all figured out yet. I may not know exactly who I am in this new season. But I’m getting there — one day, one small moment, one vintage wallet at a time.

(And hey — if anyone wins the lottery and wants to surprise me that pink Chanel, I’m not opposed to a pre-owned one. Just putting it out into the universe lol.)