Your Legacy...

This notification just popped up on my calendar for tomorrow. Dad’s anniversary. In its entirety, it’s my parent’s wedding anniversary, but I didn’t add it to my calendar until after mom passed. I have a ton of notifications like this that are still in my calendar; for relatives’ birthdays, special dates of my parents… things like that. Occasions that dad needed a reminder for, because he was never very good with dates for as long as I can remember. Mom used to remind him about dates like their kids’ birthdays and take care of the cards or gifts, so when she passed, I wanted to make sure he kept track of all those important dates so he could make the calls or send the cards just like before. I’d call him a few days before to remind him to get a card and then at 8 am on the actual days with a reminder of who to call. Sometimes I’d drop off a stack of different Hallmark cards I’d picked up just so he had them at the ready - and chuckle when he’d drop one off for my birthday with a note that said “You did a good job picking out your own card” in his memorable handwriting. I’d always plan an extra visit on days like mom’s birthday, angel-versary, and like today’s reminder, their anniversary. He didn’t like to show it, but we talked a lot on those days about grief and the good memories, too. When mom passed, I told myself he needed someone to take care of him, but the truth is that I needed someone to look after, too. Keeping busy was the key to not letting all the grief sink in. Today’s reminder is just that: a reminder that when the times are hard, you take care of each other in whatever little ways you can. That is the legacy you pass on to everyone you love, and they won’t need a reminder for that.