And Just Like That…

Today, I hit my breaking point.

I had just settled in for the evening, ready to finally relax, when I heard it - that unmistakable sound of metal grinding against metal. Loud. Sudden. Wrong.

Our car.

Not just a car - our barely-a-year-old car.

I threw on whatever warm clothes I could find and ran outside, already knowing what I’d see. And there it was. A hit-and-run. The entire front end wrecked, just like that.

Because the garage door broke last month and I need to find someone to fix it, we parked on the street. My Ring camera broke a few weeks ago and I haven’t replaced it. So no help there.

And I’m not going to pretend I held it together. I didn’t. I’ve been crying for the last hour. And I don’t see it stopping anytime soon.

The silver lining is no one was in it. No one was hurt. And I am grateful for that.

But if I’m being honest… it just feels like we can’t catch a break.

No matter how hard we try, I can never seem to get ahead - I’m just barely staying afloat. And I’m so tired of that feeling.

And today of all days… this week of all weeks.

We have some big, really important medical tests coming up for my daughter tomorrow and Thursday, and the weight of that has already been sitting heavy on my chest.

This just pushed everything over the edge.

I think sometimes we don’t talk enough about moments like this.

The breaking points.

The nights where everything stacks up at once and even something “material” feels like too much - not because it’s just a car, but because it’s everything it represents. Stress. Money. Timing. The feeling that life keeps piling on when you’re already stretched thin.

We scroll past polished posts and highlight reels, and it’s easy to believe everyone else is handling life better. That they’re stronger. More put together. Less overwhelmed.

But the truth is… we all have these moments.

The crying-on-the-floor, can’t-catch-your-breath, “how am I supposed to keep going?” moments.

And there’s nothing weak about that.

If anything, it means you’ve been strong for too long without a break.

I don’t want to just survive anymore.

I want to feel like we’re moving forward.

I want to feel secure.

I want to be writing my romance novels without constantly worrying about what tomorrow - or the day after that - might bring. Or what work I can pick up so we can just have some fun instead of watching every cent.

And I feel total remorse for having splurged on my purchase at the mall last week instead of saving that photo shoot money for something like this - which will always inevitably happen. Like, so much remorse, which makes me cry even more.

It was so stupid to do.

But maybe this is part of the lesson too.

Not that we should never enjoy anything.

Not that every dollar has to be guarded out of fear.

But that life is unpredictable - and we’re all just doing our best to balance responsibility with trying to feel a little joy along the way.

Sometimes we’ll get that balance wrong.

That doesn’t make us failures. It makes us human.

Right now, I’m still in it.

Still overwhelmed.

Still emotional.

Still trying to pull myself together.

But I also know this:

We’ve gotten through hard days before.

We’ll get through this one too.

Even if it doesn’t feel like it yet.

So tonight, the lesson isn’t about having it all together.

It’s about giving yourself permission to fall apart a little when everything feels like too much.

It’s about remembering that bad moments don’t mean a bad life.

And it’s about holding onto the smallest truths you can find - like the fact that no one was hurt - and letting that be enough for now.

And if you have a moment this week… I could really use your prayers, your good thoughts, whatever you believe in.

Just to help me stay steady.

Just to help me keep going.