It's Not A Waste Of Time...
I’ll be honest - when something doesn’t go the way I planned, my first instinct is to write it off as a waste of time. A manuscript that doesn’t come together. A party that falls flat. A plan that just… doesn’t work.
But the more I sit with it, the more I realize - that’s not true at all.
Because every time something goes wrong, we’re learning.
Sometimes we’re learning what to do. More often, we’re learning what not to do. But either way, we’re gaining something that sticks with us far longer than the fleeting memory of everything going right.
I have this conversation with my kids all the time. They get frustrated with school - memorizing formulas, working in groups, doing assignments that don’t seem to connect to their future.
And I remind them: it’s not really about the algebra.
It’s about learning how to learn.
How to absorb information.
How to communicate without relying on a script.
How to work with others - even when someone doesn’t pull their weight and you end up carrying more than your share.
Because those are the skills they’ll use for the rest of their lives, no matter what path they choose.
One of the most powerful moments I’ve witnessed in a classroom drove this home for me.
A group of students was working on an experiment involving velocity and trajectory. I was there taking photos, and I could feel their frustration building. Their calculations were off. They couldn’t predict the landing point. They started worrying about their grade, saying they had failed.
But they tried again.
And failed again.
And then a third time.
Finally, on their last attempt - they got it.
Afterward, their teacher asked a simple question: “What did you learn?”
They offered a few answers, but he brought it all together: “You learned three times what not to do. That’s not failing. You now know three ways this experiment doesn’t work. And that helps the next group start where you left off. That’s what science is - figuring out what doesn’t work, and what does. There’s a lot more failure than success, but those failures have led to some incredible discoveries.”
And isn’t that the truth?
We carry our mistakes like weights, replaying them in our minds. But what if we saw them differently? What if we recognized them for what they really are - lessons?
Lessons in what not to say.
What not to do.
How we might approach things better next time.
The failure isn’t in the misstep.
It’s in missing the message.
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