Tossing and Turning...
Work has been taking up way more space in my mind than it deserves, and apparently bedtime was when it decided to collect rent. What should have been a normal night turned into hours of tossing, turning, and overthinking everything.
It reminded me of a conversation we had once in the car - my kids, my husband, and me - about how long it takes each of us to fall asleep.
For me? Forever. No exaggeration. There are very few nights where I can just lay my head down and… be done. My mind doesn’t work like that.
My daughter struggles in her own way. She can’t stand the sounds of our old house - the wind pushing against the windows, the little rattles and creaks that seem louder at night. They get under her skin and keep her awake.
My son, on the other hand, usually falls asleep pretty easily. Though lately, his EMT training schedule has thrown things off. The odd hours make it hard to settle into any kind of rhythm.
And then there’s my husband.
He can fall asleep anywhere. Anytime. Any noise level, any lighting, any temperature. His head hits a pillow (or honestly, the back of a couch), and he’s out. Just like that. He says his mind simply… shuts off. No thoughts. Nothing running in the background.
I won’t lie - that used to drive me a little crazy. Especially when we’d start a movie and four minutes in, he’d be asleep. (He no longer gets to pick the movies, for obvious reasons.)
But the truth is, I envy that ability.
Because when I close my eyes, my mind doesn’t quiet down - it ramps up.
It’s like shutting my eyes is the signal for every thought I’ve ever had to come rushing back all at once. Suddenly I’m replaying awkward things I said years ago, building grocery lists, remembering appointments I need to schedule, thinking about how badly my car needs a wash… everything. All the thoughts that could have shown up during the day but chose not to. They wait. And then they all arrive at bedtime.
It’s exhausting.
Something else came up in that car conversation, too - what we “see” when we read or think.
Apparently, I’m the odd one out.
I have a constant movie playing in my mind - 24/7, 365. When I read, it’s not just words on a page; it turns into a full scene, like I’m watching it unfold. When I make a list, I don’t just think of the items - I see the list.
It’s vivid. It’s nonstop. And at night… it’s a lot.
So now I’m curious -
Are you someone who falls asleep the moment your head hits the pillow, or are you more like me, lying there while your brain runs a marathon?
And when you read… do you see a movie, or just the words?
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